Forum Puts Gay Couple Up Front

The Fargo Forum can surprise a person every once in a while. Sometimes unpleasant, sometimes pleasant. Fridays paper was a pleasant surprise for myself. Not only have they done a story on a gay High School couple going to prom, they have chosen to display it prominently above the fold in large lettering “Prom pair march into new territory”. This took me totally by surprise, and helps me to feel decent about staying in Fargo.

The other very cool thing is that there is a couple here in Fargo that is out and feel confident enough not only to go to Prom but to do a story for the paper and allow a picture of themselves to appear on the front page. They did not have to do it. I express my gratitude to them for taking this step.

I also want to express my gratitude to Forum Editor Von Pinnon for not only deciding to put this front and center (literally!) but going on Hot Talk (local talk radio station show on WDAY AM 970) and defending the decision to post the story to some not so friendly Fargoans. They accused the Forum of abandoning its ‘family paper’ status by ‘forcing’ this upon people. Wow. One of the guy’s mothers was on Hot Talk as well.

I like that this may be one of the first times I’ve had the tags of Fargo, In The News, and Gay for a post. Woot! Woot! Full text and photos of the article appears after more, plus The Forums article on the Day of Silence (which also appeared in Fridays paper). Later.

Prom pair march into new territory
Helmut Schmidt
The Forum – 04/20/2007

Jakob Paper and Steven Goering, both 18, plan on attending Fargo South’s school prom as a couple on Saturday. Photo by David Samson / The Forum

Prom is about grand dresses, sharp suits and tuxedos, and good times with friends and classmates.

Jakob Paper and Steven Goering hope to add acceptance to the list.

Paper, a Fargo South High senior, and Goering, who is getting his high school degree from the North Dakota Division of Independent Study, plan to attend the South High prom Saturday at the Fargo Civic Memorial Auditorium. The 18-year-olds will do the Grand March together as boyfriends and be introduced on stage in turn with the other couples.

“Nobody’s ever done it as far as I’m aware,” Paper said of two gay men attending a local prom.

Paper has been open about his homosexuality since eighth grade. Goering, who recently moved to Fargo from Mayville, N.D., said he told his parents four years ago. He told most of his friends in January.

“For the people in Fargo and North Dakota, especially, it’s really important to see this. I don’t think it’s been expressed,” Paper said.

“It’s going to be interesting,” Goering said. “I figure it’s going to be a good experience. It’s scary because it’s North Dakota and everybody’s hush-hush about it (homosexuality). But it’s an up-and-coming issue. … People are going to have to get used to it somewhere.”

South officials earlier this year approved a request to allow same-sex couples in the march, said Assistant Principal Jennifer Fremstad.

The principals at South and North High in Fargo and West Fargo High School say they haven’t heard in recent memory of gay male couples taking part in the Grand March. Moorhead officials said their high school hasn’t had same-sex attendees in the march.

Laurie Schlenker, a counselor at South who works with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students, said it’s not unusual for two young women to walk the Grand March together.

“They may not be lesbians; they just might be friends (showing off their dresses). There’s that weird standard out there. It seems in our society it’s more acceptable for two girls to do it than two guys,” Schlenker said.

West Fargo High Principal Gary Clark said there may have been lesbian couples in past prom grand marches, but it hasn’t been an issue.

“Quite frankly, we don’t think it’s any of our business to ask,” Clark said. “We don’t make a big deal about it.”

Paper and Goering met by chatting online through the MySpace Web site. After they got to know each other, they decided to meet and started dating.

Like any young person getting ready for prom, Paper is excited and nervous.

Nervous, because “we’re still trying to figure out what to wear,” Paper said. Suits and sandals are the leading choice right now.

Goering said he attended prom in Mayville as a sophomore, junior and senior with girls who were friends.

Goering’s mother has known for a while that he will attend prom with Paper. He planned to tell his father Thursday. In some ways, he said, this experience will be liberating and he’s wondering how people will react.

“(Prom is) not new to me. It’s new with a guy,” Goering said. “I’m just going to have fun. I’m not going to make a big deal out of it.”

Readers can reach Forum reporter Helmut Schmidt at (701) 241-5583

Silence louder than words
Helmut Schmidt
The Forum – 04/20/2007

Fargo South senior Jakob Paper addresses classmates who participated Wednesday in the Day of Silence to raise awareness for issues of acceptance and tolerance. Photo by David Samson / The Forum

Students in Fargo’s South High School’s Gay Straight Alliance hope what they didn’t say Wednesday gets an important message across to classmates.

Nearly 50 South students and teachers took part in the national Day of Silence.

The event, which was also observed by students at Moorhead and West Fargo high schools, is meant to focus attention on the intolerance that keeps gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender youth mum about their sexuality, local organizers said.

“I think it went over really well and I’m happy” for the level of participation, said Jakob Paper, a senior who started the school’s Gay Straight Alliance in January.

Paper, who has been open about his homosexuality for several years, said the day was tough because “I’ve never really been quiet about anything.”

But he felt it was important to try to “make South a better place” and more accepting of gay students.

Sophomore Steven Scott took part in the Day of Silence to support Paper and South’s gay students.

“It’s more of a tolerance thing. I felt if I did this, I’d be fighting for the right cause,” he said.

Lisa Janet, a junior, said she took part to help people understand the hurt of others.

“Being quiet all day and being unable to talk to anyone made me feel disassociated,” she said.

The Day of Silence started in 1996 at the University of Virginia. According to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, by 2002 it was observed in more than 1,900 U.S. middle schools, high schools and colleges.

GLSEN’s 2005 National School Climate Survey found more than 64 percent of GLBT students polled reported verbal, sexual or physical harassment at school.

The GLSEN survey also said 29 percent reported missing at least a day of school in the past month out of fear for their personal safety.

West Fargo had about 75 students take part, said Brandon Walter, a sophomore and president of the group.

“We got a little bit of grief from students, but that was expected. We got the point through to people; it was good,” Walter said.

Most South students got through the day by telling teachers what they’d be doing in advance, using flashcards and writing notes.

Senior Grant Hauschild said he hopes the day makes a difference at South.

“It really opens your eyes to the silence” gays endure in keeping their sexuality secret, Hauschild said.

At the end of the school day, the group shared their experiences, then ended their silence with a scream.

“It’s traditional when breaking the silence to yell,” Paper told the group, as he stood atop a picnic table in the sun-drenched courtyard.

And at the count of three, they offered a heartfelt roar to the sky.

Readers can reach Forum reporter Helmut Schmidt at (701) 241-5583

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